assuming sbcl is installed on the destination server and the one to be used
- start by installing quicklisp on the server
 - start the sbcl repl
 - install slynk/swank for sly/slime, respectively, 
(ql:quickload :slynk) - start the server with 
(slynk:create-server), the default port is 4005 - create an ssh tunnel from local machine to remote machine using 
ssh -L4005:localhost:4005 <remote-machine-address> - connect from the local emacs instance to the remote common lisp swank instance using 
M-x sly-connect, with the destination being the server and the port being 4005 
note that direct remote connections to swank/slynk arent possible (by default) so we have to use an ssh tunnel (see https://comp.lang.lisp.narkive.com/ze9FYwCl/how-to-connect-with-slime-to-remote-sbcl) a one-liner to start the slynk server:
sbcl --eval '(ql:quickload :slynk)' --eval '(slynk:create-server)'